Wednesday, June 30, 2010

JR Quit Ballet

responsive to the music. She can dance in a way I ca
Today she told her teacher she won't return in the fall.
She is the best dancer in the family. She is graceful. She has a ballet body--slender with a long neck and a small head. She is agile and responsive to the music.
She can dance in a way I can only dream of. And she doesn't give a damn. I don't think she ever has--not enough to matter.
I often wonder if she had gone to one of these ballet academy type places around here--a REAL studio, organized with all the trimmings, where there were 55 other little girls her age, where the teacher wasn't also a close family friend--if she would have found a passion for dance.
But she didn't. And she hasn't.
I can't live my girls' lives for them. I know that. And it would be far, far worse for her to go on dancing and not caring about it. Not putting into it what she is capable of, and has shown during performances.
It will be easier for me. No more leaving work to haul her to ballet. No washing leotards and replacing torn tights. No more reminding her to practice--because w/o that reminder, she wouldn't have.
I have hated having to push her to practice. It's why neither girl plays an instrument, or does anything else of that sort, because I don't want to have to nag them to do something they're not motivated to do.
She will be home every day after school come fall. She will read. She will use the computer to play games and write stories. She will watch TV.
And that will be about it. And that's her choice.
Ironically, SC has been doing such a good job helping Lynne with ballet camp that she has asked her to come and help as a student teacher this fall. And I think SC will. I think she's missed ballet.
As for me, because I've become such a part of what she does, I will go on helping Lynne with the Christmas performance and the spring recital. I'll watch other little girls, who don't dance as well as JR does do the solos.

And I'll go on dancing--forever if I can.
Because it may not be in JR's heart.
But it is firmly in mine.

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