Saturday, November 20, 2010

I Want My Penguin Back

Dear Mother of the Uncontrollable Toddler:

I want my penguin back.
My penguin beanbag. The one that looks like this, only it's the red one.
The one that your toddler took, having gone down the little corridor, INTO my office and around to the back corner where my computer is.
Either you LET him go in there, or you didn't bother to follow him until he was all the way back there.

Nor did you pry the toy out of his hand, or if you did, you didn't put it back there. It's gone now.

You allowed him to scream for 10 minutes so loudly he could be heard up on the second floor balcony, then finally shouldered him and took him out just when I'd come over to tell you to take him out.

I don't know for sure that you've got my penguin, but he's not where he should be, nor anywhere else we could look for him.

I'd like him back. And I'd like an apology for the way you allowed him to behave in the library.

And it really pisses me that I'm going to have to close the door to my office even if I've only stepped out for a minute to make sure that toddlers whose parents are too damn lazy or unwilling to discipline their kids don't run amok in my private space!

The Library Lady
(who now has a blue, a green, a purple,a yellow and an orange penguin who miss their nestmate)


Saints and Spinners said...

Nooo! Not the red penguin. Bring back the red penguin! Will you put up signs?

I've been a little skittish ever since two of the math gnomes I donated to the school auction went into the hallway for the "Warmth of Winter" auction and disappeared mysteriously. I wonder if any parent suspected their little darlings of stealing, or if they thought the school was too crunchy-alternative for such dastardly deeds.

The Library Lady said...

I don't think they'll notice the penguin signs any more than they do the "no eating in the library" or the "this is not a toy" sign on the blue plastic magazine files I keep on the picture book shelf ends to discourage loose books being put there.