When I am in ballet class, or doing a program at work, or engaged with my family I am fine. But when I am just sitting here, as I am now, the whole world presses in on me.
I am stressed out by everything. By SC's upcoming birthday and any celebration to go with it and by her school struggles--she's failing geometry and not doing well in a lot of her other classes. By JR's tween tantrums, which are increasing. By the Man's periods of depression.
By the fact that it looks like we are going to owe tax money again. By my dentist, who is going to take the equivalent of a month's pay from me to do 2 more crowns--and I pray he doesn't find damage enough for a root canal into the bargain.
By my damned doctor, who apparently wants me in for an appointment so he can take my blood pressure (which only rises in his office) and listen to me breathe, when I haven't had anything remotely relating to an asthma problem in years. Why else does he keep cutting the amount of my thyroid prescription--last time he gave me 30 days, this time 21! His concern about my health is HURTING my health.
By Weight Watchers, who have revamped their program.Now when I am
And by this damned weather. New York and north get snowstorm after snowstorm. All we get is last week's traffic snarling nightmare that left us with this lumpy excuse for snow. And that will be washed away tomorrow and Wednesday by freezing rain and plain old cold rain. Feh!
I have always loved winter. But right now I want it to be spring, allergies, hives and all.
I want to go out in my gardens and feel the dirt between my fingers.
I want to stop feeling cold all the time when I go outside--it just bites into me.
I want to stop eating too much chocolate and drinking too much soda.
I want it to be warm enough so I can grab my MP3 player and walk outside in the sun. Warm enough so the Man can get out on his bike and JR's and so that they can go off riding together.
And if it won't do that, I just want to crawl back to bed. And to stay there until spring finally comes.