Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Another Year To Be "The Good Daughter"

I am thankful that Mom is still with us. It didn't look like she might be mid-summer. A lot started to go wrong and her doctors were predicting she wouldn't make it to year's end.

She is still here. But she is also even more querulous and unhappy than she was last year. She has a batch of smaller ailments on top of the leukemia, and phone calls with her have become an unhappy duty. I owe her one right now and I DON'T WANT TO CALL!

And I don't want to go home for Thanksgiving. It may be her last Thanksgiving, and I know we're lucky to have her there, to be able to go and be with her.

But I am burned out. Perimenopause/menopause is piling symptom after symptom on top of me and I am a champion hypochondriac and every symptom scares me.

I am stressed from all that has gone on at work this fall. I am stressed thinking about Hanukkah--the girls need to have a party w/their friends at least, and there's still the lunch to do at work, and about Christmas.

There's a major construction job involving a large pantry cabinet going on in the house and I have no idea when/if the Man is ever going to finish it. There's a thousand things I need to do at home.

I am taking off Thanksgiving week because that Monday is my 52nd birthday and because we are going to head up to NYC via our usual Lancaster County stopover on Tuesday.

And I'd rather be home all week. I'd like a lot of extra naps since my night sleeping is so bad.
I'd like some time to curl up and read a batch of new books and watch lots of old television shows.

The only bright spot is that my sister-in-law and brother-in-law are going up for Thanksgiving and that we are going to get together for lunch at our family gathering spot with them, my two other brother-in-laws who are still in NYC and our niece. And I want to see them all and be with them all.

I'll go home, and be the good daughter, and know that this may be the last time I am able to go "home" for Thanksgiving.

And I also guarantee that my brother and his family will be somewhere else.........

1 comment:

WifeMomTeacher said...

Being the caregiver is so hard. I remember being relieved when Geri had to periodically go to the hospital because then I could enjoy some less stressful time. I missed Maggie's first 8 months, really.

But now that Geri is gone, as are Mommy and Daddy, I have no regrets. And I would do it again.