Once more you have screwed up my Hanukkah plans.
Last year it was that ridiculous "wedding" and I say "wedding" because when you've lived with a guy for 9 years, raised a child with him, had 2 kids more, you are way past the stage to have a vulgar, overdone party that intimates you are just married. You had been married, even if not legally, for a long time, and I still don't get why you didn't have a wedding when your grandparents were still around to see it.
And now you are taking your parents and your family and going on a fuckin' Disney Cruise for the first two weeks of December! Which leaves me with no way to have a Hanukkah party that all of you, our beloved family, will be around to attend.
Why on earth are you pulling your 11 year old and 7 year old out of school for 2 weeks? They are getting vacation time later, aren't they? How can you be letting them miss so much school? I know they're bright, but all that time matters a helluva lot more than some cute pictures with Mickey and some time in the sun.
And it adds even more ridiculousness to the set-up by saying it's to celebrate your 10th anniversary with your husband. So you were married all those years and just had the wedding now?
As much as I miss holidays in NYC with the whole family (and I do so much) it has gotten me off the hook of watching the conspicuous consumption you do in terms of the the kids. I love them, but buying them gifts when what they really want is the worst consumer crap out there always made me wince, and I detest buying things that they might enjoy but that I assume get tossed in a closet somewhere. And love the Man though I do, he's bad at holiday gifts and while I value him 365 days a year for who he is, it was always hard watching your "husband" and my brother-in-law shower expensive presents on you and your mom.
But Hanukkah gave me a chance to have you all at my house on my terms, and I haven't been able to do it in several years. And I really, really wanted to do it this year, with people all over the house, especially all of you, who between losing my dad, my mom's illness and querulousness, and my brother's basic desertion of us, are all the family we have!
I love you. Sorry I won't be making hummus for you. Guess we'll see you at New Year's.