It's not what you think.
It's simply to sink down in my cozy bed, pull the covers around me and sleep deeply for 7 or 8 hours without waking until morning.
Because I can't remember the last time I did so.
I get woken by my boy Bruce the cat, wanting to climb onto my nightstand and explore forbidden things, or to climb on my chest and purr and give me many kisses. Or by him and/or Molly wanting to snuggle with me and making it hard for me to get comfortable. And overheating me.
Even if they aren't there, even if I run the AC all night and dress lightly I get woken by night sweats or hot flashes. Perimenopause/menopause sucks that way.
I get woken by my bladder, by the Man snoring, by worries and bad thoughts.
And I still reach out behind me and want my Bella girl back there, a snug stripey bundle of fur. Has she really been gone 4 months already?
I get up in the morning, deal with my day,and come home exhausted and able to do little more than cook dinner and slug in my bed, watching bad TV, and sometimes falling asleep before JR has even gone to bed.
But sleeping through the night? It just doesn't happen any more.
And I daydream about doing so..............