I was reading a column in the Washington Post today about someone who has lost friends, pets and a job in recent times and is having trouble dealing with the sorrow. And I get it.
In the past 3 years I have lost father-in-law, father, beloved cat, other beloved cat and my mother. My brother has been effectively lost to me for years.
I have spent months clearing away my parents' home. I have basically lost the ability to call the city I still love passionately "home." I love my adopted home town, but it is that--an adopted home.
Someone commented on the article about people who let their sorrow overwhelm them. Who hold onto it,don't want to move past it.
I wondered if that was me. I don't think it's so, though.
I have work I love. family I love, the everyday goodness of life to rejoice in. And for the most part I do.
I want to be glad for the things I have.
And yet, sorrow sweeps over me, drowning me at times. This morning, instead of being in ballet class I was on the couch, weeping, with Bruce in my lap and Molly nearby, seeming to understand the sadness in my heart.
I want this to go and leave me be.
But it won't.